The Diary of Sybil Branson Over Time
by LilyTheFairy394
Summary: As Sybbie grows up they move into the agents house, this is a diary kept by Sybbie for several years, starting on her 7th birthday. She uses it to 'communicate' with her mother. Eventually she shows it to her Father and she writes for the final time...
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there! This is my first Downton Abbey Fanfiction, it's based on the diary entries of a young Sybil Branson, this may contain spoilers for anyone who hasn't watched Series 3 of Downton which has just finished in England. It starts when Sybbie is 7 years old. I didn't know exactly when her birthday is, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Thanks guys, please R&R 3 ~Lily**

Sometimes What We Want Isn't What Is Best...

Tucked safely up in bed, a stuffed bear in her arms, sleeping quietly was a girl. A beautiful girl, but with a troubled past. Her mother died in childbirth, her father refusing to get remarried, still in love with his 12-year dead wife. The girl sat up, and stated straight at the mirror. She leant down, and picked up her worn diary that she had received as a gift on her 7th birthday from her grandmother. Turning on the lamp, she opened the diary to the first page and began to read. The first words were; My name is Sybil Branson, and this is my story.

August 23rd 1927

Hello. This feels strange, writing to someone who isn't there. I'm going to pretend all these entries mummy is reading, up there in heaven. So hello mummy, I miss you so bad. Daddy misses you too. He prays at night that you are happy and safe, and cries often too. I'm seven now, I wish you were hear to see me. But let me explain a bit. My name, is Sybil Branson, my father Tom Branson works at Downton Abbey as the Agent, after a man called Jarvis refused to work for Uncle Matthew, part owner of Downton Abbey. Daddy and I lived at Downton until I turned 7, then we moved into the Agent's house, three days after my birthday. I received this Diary from Grandmama for my birthday. She told me I should use it to record my feelings and hopes. So I will, but I'll use it also to remember you. I'm quite tall for my age now, and my father is so proud of me, or so he says. My hair is long, thick brown and curly, my eyes are brown too. I love learning languages, and I have learned basics of mathematics (calculations) English science and History. I feel quite proud of myself really. I hope to enrol in the Nightingale School of Nursing and take after my mother. Nurse Branson. Except I'm wondering should I use the name Crawley? Nurse Crawley. That was your name wasn't it. I love you mummy. I wish you could see me today, I have tried to make you proud. I will write again tomorrow but I have to go an help daddy get ready for dinner at Downton. We are invited there most nights, but there is a visitor, Aunt Mary and Uncle Matthew want us there, and me to keep young Alana company. Goodbye for now Mummy, I love you xx ~Sybbie


	2. Chapter 2

**This is chapter two guys! Well day 2 hope you enjoy it, please R&R cookies for everyone who does!~Lily x**

August 24th 1927

To describe Alana, as you may be wondering who she is. Alana is my beautiful younger cousin, she is 5 and a half. Her full name is Alana Marianne Crawley. What a beautiful name. But mine is better I was named for my amazing Mummy. She was born to Aunt Mary and Uncle Matthew. I wish you could see her. She was a lovely baby, and when she was young, I used to sit on Aunt Mary's knee as we held her. When I grew up I was allowed to be alone to play with her, an honour. Now I'm seven, I'm meant to keep her company, as we do not done with the adults, but with Anna to watch over us, and help when Alana can't feed herself properly, and to clean us both up before we are sent to the library to sit with the rest of the ladies of the family while the men stay in the dining room. Then Father comes to take us home, and I go to bed, after hugs and kisses goodnight. Often Father comes and reads a story to me as I drift off. That's what he did last night. He has such a gorgeous voice, I love the sound of the Irishman in it. I have been dreaming of you Mummy, and sometimes I hear you talking to me when I was just born. Your voice was ever prettier than Daddy's. It is midday now and I am being called by Daddy to set the table and sit down for lunch, so I shall talk to you later if I time, tell everyone in Heaven I love them and give them hugs to make them feel special. I love you Mummy xxx ~Sybbie

Later on August 24th 1927

We leave for London in the morning. I will try and write in this book still...love~Sybbie


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey there lovely people! How are you today? This is one week later from Sybbie's last diary entry, hope you enjoy it, and please R&R it means a lot to me ;-) ~Lily x**

31st August 1927

We have been away for a week London, horrible place it is. Daddy told me he didn't want me to bring my diary, hence the lack of writings. Daddy doesn't understand the meaning of this book. When he's old and grey I'll show it to him and he can laugh at the ramblings of a crazy 7 year old. Maybe I'll show it to you one day, I would love to hear your laugh once more. Aunt Mary often tells me stories of you, and so does Thomas, the under-butler. Except we're meant to call him Mr Barrow. I call Mr Carson just that, but Thomas never did suit Mr Barrow. Jimmy (James) is first footman, and Alfred left to work abroad, so we have a new second footman called Patrick. He is very Irish, and he often makes me laugh when I visit the servants hall when I am staying at Downton, he tells me stories of the Emerald Isle, and of the other staff. I can't help but laugh, and all too soon I am whisked away back to the upstairs rooms to dress for dinner. My glass dolphin is giving me strange looks, sitting here in my pinafore (pinny...) scratching away like Uncle Matthew does, or Daddy does when he has the estate to manage. It will be Christmas soon! I know it sounds ridiculous, it's August, but it's four months until that jolly day, I cannot wait! The maid is delivering fresh linen and wants me to leave the room, so I shall, but I will go to my corner in the library, and write there. Daddy doesn't like the fact I write in my diary so much, but it's my way of seeing mummy again. I bought some ornaments recently, one is of two adorably cute hedgehogs, and the other is a large blue glass dolphin. It's amazing I love it so much. However the best thing was a huge cuddly toy dog, with the hint from Daddy that we might be getting a real dog soon, not a hunting dog, but a real dog, but it will be all mine to have. The maids will help me look after her, but I can take her out for walks, in the grounds and the village, maybe even into the Abbey to see Aunt Edith, Aunt Mary, Uncle Matthew and Alana. You would love Alana, she is the sweetest girl you ever would wish to meet. Aunt Mary is expecting another baby, some time very soon. I think that is enough for now, Daddy is here and wants to talk to me. I love you mummy! ~Sybbie xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys I want to say thanks so much to my two reviewers samjaymcnulty and Andorra97 yeah yay two reviews! They seriously made my day and made me write the next entry ;-) so I have added Tom Branson to the peopleANSI thanks for that, and I love you for your comments. Cookies for the both of you!~Lily **

1st September 1927

Hello Mummy! It's September at last! Aunt Mary is due to have her next child in less that two weeks, she said I could hold the baby if I sit on the bed, or on a soft chair, all on my own! It's so exciting isn't it! Uncle Matthew can't wait, and he wants Daddy to be godfather. The baby will be christened Protestant, but since Aunt Edith will be godmother, she is Protestant so as Daddy says 'all's well that ends well'. It does now give me an excuse to visit Downton, Alana and the servants hall, because I go to see Aunt Mary and keep her company, then I am sent down to acquire some tea and cookies, and American biscuit that Aunt Mary has cravings for and eats by the tonne. I've learned how to use a telephone now mummy! It's fun because I can telephone Alana, but I tend not too as too often I get Grandpapa and he scares me on the phone. Sometimes I get Aunt Edith, or Uncle Matthew, and sometimes Grandmama, she always laughs with me about silly little things. Once I got Thomas, he couldn't figure out who it was, it was hilarious I must admit. Daddy wants me to visit Aunt Mary again tomorrow afternoon, it's 5:30 now it's a little late to be going, unless for dinner. We chose to stay in for dinner today, Daddy didn't want to traipse up to the Abbey for dinner, he would rather 'stay in with his wonderful daughter' that is what he said. Daddy also mentioned he might adopt a young lad, a younger brother for me, to 'continue the line' as Daddy put it. I bought a beautiful scarf today, the nice lady selling them said it was a 'pashmina' it's Sapphire blue fading to white down the scarf, with tassels at either end, it's amazing. My music is coming along nicely, I am learning clarinet now, as well as my piano, and my piano is beautiful, the sound resonates perfectly! Daddy said you used to be excellent at playing, I wish you would be here to play for me, I'm sure you are as good as Daddy said. I have to go soon, my tutors for mathematics and languages are here, but I want to finish this first. Since September is here, it is Harvest soon, and we will be celebrating with the village and the tenant farmers here at the Abbey, Grandmama and Grandpapa are throwing a party of humongous proportions, so that is where we are going, and then Mass to give thanks. So now I really must go, Daddy is calling me downstairs, and I shall write as soon as I can, it should be relatively soon, I love you more than the earth itself, and goodnight, sleep well my darling Mummy ~Sybbie xxx


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok I'm not ashamed to admit it I sobbed at writing this chapter. It's rather sad but the next entry will be Sybbie writing after the funeral. I forgot to put in a disclaimer at the beginning of this book, so here it is.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters (apart from Alana and Baby Robert, my imagination...) setting or stuff like that, but the plot and ideas are my own, so please no stealing them. Thanks!~Lily x**

16th September.

I'm crying too much to write now. The baby was stillborn. I'll write soon when I've stopped crying. Im going to go hug Aunt Edith, Aunt Mary is sleeping, and Uncle Matthew is with her. I must go. Love you ~Sybbie x

19th September 1927

I spent every day looking after Alana, Aunt Mary and Uncle Matthew are grieving. Alana is too young to realise what is happening. The funeral is tomorrow. The whole village is going to a memorial service on the Saturday, and the baby, that they named Robert, will be prayed for at chapel on Sunday. Daddy and I are going to hold a Catholic memorial service of our own for baby Robert on Saturday and pray for him at Masson Sunday morning. Since I was brought up Catholic, we shall go to the funeral because the baby was family, but the memorial service and service on Sunday are not allowed.

I drew a picture today though mummy! It was of two little model teddy bears on a dolls table. My tutor said it was very good and I should draw more often! I was very shocked, it was something I drew in ten minutes, not really paying attention, but it was good she said. I can't believe it. However though I am proud it is a time of grieving, and Anna is finished washing Alana, I have to read her a bedtime story then Daddy said he would read one for me if I read him a bedtime story one day. Alana's favourite book is Black Beauty, about a horse sold from owner to owner, it is very sad and I cries when i first read it, but it is a brilliant book. So I must go, and then one day I will read Daddy bedtime stories as he read them to me. I intend to, I think I will, but I don't know when. Not today, nor tomorrow, nor the weekend. A week, a month, who knows. I must fly, I love you mummy, and miss you most on days like this. Goodnight ~Sybbie xxx


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N.- I want to say a massive thanks to my third reviewer, cookies for you! I love it when people review is gives me a real buzz, so thanks for them! I guess it's on with the story! Oh and at some point there may be some letters in here, so I'll tell you when they will be. Enjoy!~Lily x**

25th September 1927

I'm back from the Abbey, and we are now wearing black for two months, Aunt Mary, Uncle Matthew and Alana are going to wear black for five months at least, Alana may come out of mourning sooner, but will probably still wear dark colours, greens, purples and blues. They have to, it's close family. He was to be my cousin, so I mourn too, but not as long as the others. All the servants wear black armbands, just as they did when...you passed on. They celebrated my birth, but mourned you for months. meanwhile Daddy tried to recover and figure out what to do with me. He refused to give me up, or let me stay at the Abbey while he left and worked, he wouldn't lose me so soon after losing you. I shouldn't have said that, now I'm crying so bad, Daddy will see me and I can't let him. I don't know why. I want to talk to Anna and Mr Bates, and Carson. I may go talk to Anna this evening, they live in a cottage not too far away from ours, I would live a great big hug. I can't stop crying, help me please Mummy. Help me recover. Take the pain away. I miss you every day and wish you were here, just to hold me and tell me it'll be ok. It will be ok eventually, I'm sure.

I met a new friend today, in the village. His name is Jonathan and he is really sweet, Daddy likes him, even if he is English. He said you would like him too, you liked everyone. He told me stories about how you met, how Daddy was a chauffeur and you were youngest daughter in the Abbey, how he came to love you, and still does, seven years later, how you lived in Dublin, and married, and were perfectly happy. I hope I can find someone like that one day. Even if he is working class. Grandmama would disapprove though. She's still very American. Daddy has started doing housework, I help a lot though, he has no clue when it comes to washing clothes, or dusting, or anything. He can cook and wash dishes, but we don't employ any servants, we have no room to keep them, so we muddle along as best we can. We asked Ethel Parks, Mrs Crawley's old housemaid, if she would like to come work back at Downton, but she refused, saying she would rather be near her son. I don't mind, but Daddy did. He had Mrs Patmore come and teach him to cook, as any father should, he said. I like cooking, it's fun. Could you cook? I still want to be a Nurse. I want to help people like you did. I still love you Mummy! ~Sybbie x


	7. Chapter 7

**Why hello there! I want to make an ENORMOUS shout out to GoldenMiniJ-17 who said she would mention my book in a note of hers, so I am making a shout out to her, because she is so Supermegafoxyawesomehot. On with the story!~Lily xx**

30th September

It'll be October soon mummy! Tomorrow! I can't wait. I love Autumn, it's so pretty with the leaves falling gently off the trees, all ruby and golden and amber and brown, better than green the whole year round. There is a lovely grove of trees very near our house, I go and sit there sometimes with my manuscript paper, and my diary, and sometimes a flute I found in the attic, and sit there for hours. I can't just play and write and sing and just watch the world go by. It reminds me of you, it's the sort of thing I imagine you doing, I don't exactly know why. But then I will go inside when I get cold, or hungry, or it gets dark, and sit and play and sing in the evening after dinner for my and Daddy. He read me a bedtime story last night, it was Little Women, about four girls, sisters, called Jo, Amy, Beth and Meg. It's very good, Daddy read me the first two chapters then he said to sleep. I did, but woke early morning and wrote a bit of story down that was stuck in my head from my dreams. Mummy you would love my stories. I will bring them with me when I join you finally, but often I visit your..graveside, and read them to you, I can almost imagine you smiling down at me, but you never say anything, just smile and smile and smile. Sometimes I look around, but everywhere is empty, no one is ever around, except when I begin to play, when everyone pauses and listens, knowing who I am, the girl with no mother, young Sybil, they think my name is cruel. That because I am named after you mummy, I am going to pass on young. I hope not to, but I am not ashamed or afraid of my name, I am proud of it, because my mummy was strong, courageous, kind, caring, and most of all my mummy. That's what makes it special. I love you mummy, until I see you again ~Sybbie xxx


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm finally back, with the latest installment of Sybbie's Diary. While I'm here, would you go and read my new Downton fanfic, it's a Daisy/Alfred story, and it would really cheer me up if I got a couple of reviews now I'm ill ;( love you all ~Lily x**

October 13th 1927

It's been AGES since I wrote, I have been so busy, and I think I'm glad of a distraction. Are you still with me mummy? I hope you are. Aunt Mary wants another baby, soon Alana won't be alone again. Are you looking after Baby Robert? Give him an enormous hug from me, and a kiss from Aunt Mary and Uncle Matthew, they miss him dearly. Daisy came to see me today, with Ivy and Alfred, who is here to visit and is staying in the servants quarters. Alfred keeps making 'doe eyes' at Daisy, it's incredibly cute but Daisy is clueless, she doesn't realise what he means by the looks. I hope they get married, it's adorable the way he looks after her, opens the door for her and is always smiling. Alfred, I found out, was living in Ireland, but has a bought a farm very close to Downton, and hopes to soon ask Daisy to be his bride. Everyone here at Downton thought e was still in service, but instead he has been learning how to be a farmer, and is very good now apparently. He has also inherited a ring from his grandma, it belonged to his great great grandma, he hopes to give it to Daisy when he asks her. I don't know why Alfred told me, but he did, so there you go. I promised to keep it a secret.

Its October 13th today, it's Saturday, and the village is planning a huge dance, for Hallowe'en, and me and Daddy are invited. I cant wait! There will be apple-bobbing, pumpkins, food, dancing and gossip galore. Daddy has told me not to listen to the gossip, as it is nothing more than that. I have been told that you always went to the dances at Hallowe'en, even though you were a Lady up at the Abbey, and it's a servants dance really. I love you mummy, more than words can say, please don't fret, look after baby Robert, for the sake of Aunt Mary and Uncle Matthew, and Alana, who you never knew; and if not for them, for me. So goodnight for now mummy, I shall see you in my dreams. Lots and lots of love ~Sybbie xxx


	9. Chapter 9

**Heylo! Sorry I've been ill over the last few days, I'm feeling better now, but I've realised I am in need of a beta. Would anyone like to volunteer, its just to check grammar and inconsistencies...and thanks to GoldenMiniJ-17 for theinspiration for this chapter ~Lily xx**

October 20th 1927

I've been ill for the past week, with a high fever. Daisy kept me company, Mrs Patmore said she could just about manage with Ivy, though it would be difficult. Daisy told me stories of her father-in-law's farm, and how Mr Mason was so kind to her, she couldn't understand why. I could not reply, but I could listen. After 4 days of sitting there talking, only leaving to change, sleep, wash and eat, Daisy confessed to me that she loved Alfred, but felt she was betraying William by taking another man as her husband. I thought to myself, through the fever-driven haze, that I would do a little bit of matchmaking between the two, how cute it was. Eventually, once I was well enough to just be looked after by Daddy, Alfred came to fetch Daisy to chaperone her back to the house. Pulling Alfred by his sleeve, I whispered in his ear

"Don't worry, I know your secret, and hers. You will find your happiness, trust me." Alfred passed it off as the fever making me a bit crazy, but I knew what I meant, he did too, but pretended like nothing had happened. Hugging both Alfred and Daisy goodbye, I waved at them from my bed through the window as they walked off down the path, toward Downton, chattering gaily as they went. Daisy wouldn't lose the smile on her face, and happy, I snuggled back into bed. I should be allowed up tomorrow, that's what Doctor Clarkson said. I want to go and see Mr Mason, I know the address of his farm, Daisy told me. But I want to give him a letter from me to him, and to take a letter, if he is willing to write it, to Daisy. I don't want her to never find happiness because she's held back by William, because that shouldn't happen, he would want ey to be happy, right mummy? Ask him would you, I'm sure he would say he wants her to be happy. I'm very tired now, I did not sleep well during my illness, and not at all well last night, so although it is early, I am planning to go to bed, I love you always mummy. Goodnight! ~Sybbie xxx


	10. Chapter 10

**BETA-D BY GoldenMiniJ-17 COOKIES please R&R I love it when you do it makes me write faster ;-) ~Lily xxx**

At last! I was allowed out of bed today. It felt wonderful to be free again...and clean! I have never enjoyed a bath so much, mummy. I stayed in my room a lot though, Daddy is very insistent on this. He treats me like I do my doll Grandmama bought me - with extreme care. I've been catching up with everything I had missed while being ill. I'll need catch-up lessons with my tutors. Now I wish I were ill again - what a bore!

I got some sad news today Mummy! My best friend, Emma, has gone to London for the weekend, I miss her terribly. It gets worse. With my 'twin' Katherine also gone, I am left with only Jonathan to talk to! Its not that I don't like him, Mummy, I do, I really do, its just...he's a boy! He wants to talk about guns and fighting but I want to talk about music and much nicer things. Though, playing 'adventure' with him is such fun.

My music teacher said to me that I need to work on my emphasis and feeling of playing, putting extra meaning into what I play. I'm finding this difficult, I'm only 7 after all...

Jonathan came round earlier today; I am his only source of company as he doesn't have any brothers or sisters. Daddy was very nice to him, as was Daisy, who was sent to check on me. Jonathan has invited me to come to his home; to go to his fathers estate with him some time. His father told Daddy that there would be no problem with him accompanying me, and said the same to Daisy. I thought it was very sweet. Jonothan os very sweet really...

I had picked some flowers earlier, but Jonathan presented me with some from his garden at home. They are very beautiful, even prettier than my own. I still gave him mine; he said he loved them. I wore a smile for the rest of the day. I am proud of mine, they look lovely even if they're not a patch on Jonathan's.

He left about an hour ago, along with Daisy, who has gone back to Downton.

I have spoken to Daddy about visiting Mr Mason, I want to talk to him. He thoguht it was a bit strange but he didn't object. I wrote to him and he said that I may visit on Monday if I am free, and he hopes I feel better soon. The letter is tucked in my desk drawer, I shall stick it below, so you can see it Mummy.

*LETTER*

Sybil Branson

Agents Cottage

Downton

Yorkshire

Dear Sybbie,

I would be delighted for you to visit my humble farm, with your father if he wishes to come, Daisy has told me much about you in her letters. If Monday can be done would that be acceptable? She thinks you are very sweet, and a lovely child, I would love the opportunity to get to know the girl my daughter loves so much. I am sorry to hear you are ill, and I wish you a speedy recovery.

All my best,

George Mason

That was a lovely letter and I would also like to get to know him. Daisy speaks very highly of him.

I'm sorry to rush away but I must go, Daddy is shouting for me, apparently we must go up to the Abbey. So this is goodnight for now, I love you, remember that Mummy. ~Sybbie xxx


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